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Being a successful real estate agent is largely determined by referrals. That’s the name of the game. So why is it that the tools that are available focus on helping agents close when an agent's job doesn’t end there? According to NAR's 2025 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers, 91% of buyers say they'd use their agent again. Separately, in that same survey, only 18% of buyers actually end up working with an agent they've used before. This number tells me two things — agents have the ability to close, but they’re not being remembered. I want to talk about why.

The Power of Relationship Building

91% of people like their agent. Only 18% of people use an agent they’ve worked with before. Buying and selling homes is often an emotional process. Whether it’s buying your first home or selling the home your kids grew up in, there’s some emotional attachment. Currently, the process is focused on the transaction, but not so much the human that’s involved on the other end. The best agents understand that word of mouth is one of their biggest marketing channels, which means relationship building is key. 

Right now, there is a visibility gap between the agent and their client. NAR surveyed agents from across the country and found that the average agent works 35-45 hours a week — clients are estimated to see about 10% of that work. "You believe what you can see" is true for most agents. In the case of their client, if the client doesn’t see it, did the work happen? I spoke with an agent recently who told me that a client assumed his job was doing showings and picking the sign out the yard, and told him his job was easy. 

Now, I don’t say this to blame the client. It’s not their fault. The system is designed for completing transactions, not giving the client visibility. Why aren’t we doing both?

How to build the relationship

The client deserves to be involved in the transaction — or at least have the option to be. Clients don’t just want to be taken care of, they want to see it happening and agents deserve credit for their work. Reassurance goes a long way for both parties. 

I mentioned before how much of an agent's best work never gets seen while it's happening — the calls, the chased-down details, the problems solved quietly before anyone knew there was one. It turns out that the same invisibility doesn't end at closing. It just changes shape.

Satisfaction gets measured at a single moment — the end of a transaction, when everything is fresh and the relief of a smooth closing is still doing a lot of the emotional work. Referral behavior happens on a completely different timeline. Months later. Sometimes years. By the time someone's actually ready to buy again, that closing-day gratitude has to compete with however many other things have happened in their life since.

An agent doesn't lose a referral because the work wasn't good. They lose it because nothing keeps them present in between.